Last Entry from India

In mere minutes, it will be the day of my departure from India. In 24 hours, I will be sitting in my aisle seat on a Boeing 757 aimed towards a different continent.

Unbelievable. Ten weeks passed so quickly....

Having said that, this is my last entry from India. However, I will continue to update this blog on other topics that I neglected to address during the past month, among them:

• Post-colonialist attitudes;
• Poverty;
• My trip to Varanasi/Banaras (approx. 10 days ago); and
• Anything else related to how Urdu and India are fitting back into my American life.

Again, sincere apologies for slacking on the blogging this past month. I've been touched by the number of people that have taken an interest in this blog, and I've delighted in knowing that what I write has been read by people around the world.

Having said that, today was a really surreal day. We had our Cultural Program at the Institute today, and it featured qiwwali, dances, skits, comedy routines, and poetry prepared by my peers at the Institute. It was really fun to watch everyone do their thing and to have such fun with their presentations. Following our program, we had our first non-vegetarian lunch of the summer at the Institute, a lunch that featured tandoori chicken, mutton kebabs, pineapple raita, parantha, a variety of veggie and paneer dishes, etc. All in all, it was a really nice way to wrap things up at the Institute. And even though I have every intention of returning to India and to AIIS, it was still so bittersweet. While I intend to return, I don't necessarily have control over whether or not I make it back, so for all I know, it could be the last time I ever step foot onto this continent, although let's hope it's not....

The rest of the day was spent running errands, packing, saying good-byes to friends who won't be flying out tomorrow like the majority of us will be, and getting a little bit of HENNA.

I LOVE HENNA.

And now, in the blink of an eye, my last true full day in India for this trip has come to an end, and it's time to be saying "adieu" and zipping up suitcases.

With any luck, I'll be in the United States on Friday....

Thank you for reading this blog over the course of the summer, and stay tuned for afterthoughts. :)

Reflections

It's really starting to hit me: It's Tuesday night--almost Wednesday, eegads!--and Thursday morning, I will be headed to the Lucknow airport. I have just ONE full day left out of my ten week summer.

So...how does that feel...?
It's complicated.

On the one hand, I feel like I could have done more with this time--like volunteering with an NGO, for example, as that's the biggest thing that didn't come to fruition, albeit primarily because I felt that my Hindi/Urdu skills were too limited (I had troubles communicating with several of the NGO's I called--and by several, I mean all) and because India and its 120F heat zapped my energy. Still, that's one thing that I wish I'd really gone after in a way that I didn't.
However, when I came to India, my priorities were pursuit of knowledge and clarification, and I feel so much more at peace in these two realms. I have learned so much--so much Urdu, so much about India, so much about people, and so much about myself. My Urdu is basic intermediate, but I came here knowing absolutely nothing, so basic intermediate is a grand leap. About India...I can't begin to describe the things I feel I've learned.... It's way too broad to begin to explain.... Chatting and hanging out with my classmates has been one of my favorite things about this experience as the people I've met have been so overwhelmingly fascinating. They've been a huge encouragement and inspiration in terms of helping me discover what sort of person I want to be, what sort of people I want to spend time with, and what sort of person I eventually want to end up with. They've been so wonderful and I can't believe in just 48 hours we'll be boarding a flight back to America, a flight after which we'll proceed to pick our lives back up where we left them. It's mind-boggling to share a summer with such generally incredible people and to then have to split ways and resume everything else. I've lived in this imaginary place for ten weeks...and reality's catching up with me, but I digress. Finally, about myself, I feel like I'm only partially the person I thought I was. The best example I can think of is that I've always considered myself to be VERY "Type A." Well, there are many situations in which I am so "go with the flow" and passive that it blows my mind. India has handed me extreme heat, pests and vermin, illness, cold bucket showers, Indian toilets, etc., and my response to so much of it has been, "Well, whatever. Here we go." And that's not what I would have anticipated.

Along with this knowledge, there has also been a fair amount of clarification. On some level, I know that India will be a big part of my life for years to come. And while I want to write more about that here, I feel like that's something that I really want to others about first.... I'll keep you posted, though. Moral of the story, though, is that:

• I think I'll be back to India within the next two years for a period of at least 10 weeks;
• My grad school plans have changed;
• I have Fulbright proposals churning in my mind; and
• I think that within the next ten years, I'll be spending 2-3 years (easily) in India.

I have India on my mind and burrowing in me, as odd as that sounds. I can't imagine not returning here sometime sooner rather than later. India's more than a passion for me: It's really becoming more of a lifestyle choice.

That may not make much sense to anyone else, but if it doesn't, call me and let's have coffee. There's a lot on my mind, and there are some big--BIG!!--things that I'm sorting through as I pray about and wrestle with where the next few years will take me. I'm feeling so liberated in ways that I haven't felt liberated in a long time, and I'm seeing my life moving in really cool directions, and it's just incredible, absolutely incredible.

Again, if this rambling tangent is confusing, call me and let's have ourselves a chat over coffee. I'm really excited about where this story is moving....

Article Submitted to Staff/Faculty Magazine

NOTE: I submitted this article for publication in a weekly paper published by my university primarily for faculty/staff. A co-worker of mine had informed me that they were looking for brief articles on the summer adventures of students/faculty/staff, and I submitted what is printed below and attempted to narrow my summer into approx. 430 words.

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India and I have a “love-hate relationship.” At the worst of times, India sends me persistent stomach aches, extreme heat (120F), and countless species of biting bugs; and I respond with Tums, strong pesticides, and the occasional “I Miss America Day” featuring Hollywood films, McDonalds, and blue jeans. At the best of times, India sends me knowledge, culture, and endless sources of fascination, to which I respond with incredible love and affection for a truly remarkable nation.

My idiosyncratic odyssey with India began officially during spring 2006 when I made my first trip but recommenced this past summer when I found myself back in India on a Critical Language Scholarship (CLS) to study Urdu. Developed by the United States Department of State and the Council of American Overseas Research Centers (CAORC), the CLS funded my summer of study in Lucknow. As the national language of Pakistan and one of the official languages of India, Urdu is the Persian-based sibling of Sanskrit-based Hindi, but when spoken, the two languages are so similar that they seem to mirror the relationship between American and British English.

Nevertheless, India was an assault on my senses. My unaccustomed ears found themselves bombarded by the persistent car honking, and my Norwegian palate initially lacked an appreciation of Indian curries and strong spices.  My fingers had forgotten the feel of ubiquitous street grit, and my body adjusted to the heat through constant perspiration. Cows roaming streets eating trash, public urination, extreme poverty, and cockroaches became common sights.

But despite all these things, I remain genuinely infatuated with India. The smooth staccato flow of Indic languages now ranks among my favorite sounds, and I have come to crave a good cup of chai. The feel of a fine silk sari remains unparalleled. The beauty of Indian architecture; the nation’s natural wonders, like the Ganges and the Himalayas; and its many shrines and temples is incomparable. Moreover, the kindness and hospitality of so many of India’s citizens is unbelievable.

Famed American author Ernest Hemingway once said that if a person were to visit Paris as a young person, the city would remain with him for all his life. While this may be true, I’d argue that India has a greater ability to challenge perceptions and ideas and to linger on in a visitor’s mind long after his return home. While India exhausts me in every way conceivable, I cannot begin to describe how much India exposes me to new and different ideas; satiates my appetite for adventure, travel, and knowledge; and elevates my spirits.  And all things considered, India is where I want to be. 

Aadaberz, meerai dosteen!

("Hello, My Friends!" in Urdu)

First of all, many apologies for having written so little recently. Since my return from Nainital and my move across Lucknow in mid-July, I've just been... a little mentally/emotionally/spiritually exhausted. I don't mean to sound melodramatic or anything of the sort, but I feel like I've had a little bit less stamina the past few weeks and have been a little more likely to be less proactive about my time here. 

India is a really tough place to be a foreigner. Unlike other countries in the world, such as those in Europe, Canada, and the US, where the population contains a wide variety of people and where visitors and tourists can blend in, India is not one of those places for Westerners. I've come to the realization that no matter how long I spend in this country--be it 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, 2 decades--on some level, I will still be "just visiting." Around the middle of July, I really began to feel like a local--I knew where things were, how basic day-to-day practices worked, etc., but despite my feelings of accumulated cultural knowledge, I am still just a tourist.

So that's been frustrating, and in addition to all the things that are not-so-great about India, such as the public urination, prominence of trash, extreme heat, and endless stream of noise, the combination has made me less inclined to write about my experiences here.

But the last few weeks have been really good. I have become really close to some of the others on the program, I've learned so much Urdu and Indian culture, and I've enjoyed becoming more acquainted with the city and Uttar Pradesh. I will be returning with some pretty great stories... like cops overtaking our train cabin, like my getting lost in Varanasi and following a dead body back to my hotel near the Burning Ghat, etc. 

There are some GOOD stories. ;)

There are also a lot of things circulating in my head... lots of ideas. I'm thinking that I'll be back to India for a longer period of time (2 months minimum) sometime within the next 3 years. There's not a great way to describe it, but India has become a really integral piece of my life, and the more I learn about India, and now having learned some of the language, there's an ever-increasing investment on my part in India. And the more I see of India, the more I want to see. This trip I focused more on North India and the province of Uttar Pradesh (i.e. Delhi, Lucknow, Agra/Fatehpur Sikri, Varanasi/Benares), but my list of places I'd like to visit has grown to include Darjeeling, Bihar province, Rajasthan province, Rishkesh (spelling?), and Auroville, among other places. While I've been feeling perhaps a little disenchanted as of late because my departure is so imminent (FOUR FULL DAYS LEFT IN INDIA), that does not mean in any way that I'm not still in some sort of relationship with this place.

It's very complicated....

(I wrote an article on my experience in India for an alumni newspaper, and I'll make it its own unique post.)

So, I guess I'm just sort of rambling right now....

Anyways, many apologies for being such an unfaithful blogger. I hope to begin to make up for this in the next few days....

Things I've Become Acclimated to....

A short list of things I have become almost completely used to....

1. Power outages at very inopportune times.
2. Flies hovering around my favorite eating establishments, eating establishments that typically lack four walls anyways.
3. Diarrhea.
4. Stares of all kinds from the local Lucknovites--haunting stares, friendly stares, sexual stares, awkward stares, etc.
   
5. The toilet not being able to flush several consecutive times.
6. Bucket showers.
7. Cold bucket showers.
8. Cycle rickshaws.
9. Going about my day and speaking Hindi/Urdu to make things happen.
10. Going about my day and having no one understand my English.
11. Feeling isolated from the Western world.
12. Noise. Constant noise, usually from the street.
13. Always having bug bites of some sort on me somewhere.
14. Beggars. And that one really bothers me--that I've become almost callous to it, but it happens.
15. Vegetarian Indian food.
16. Chai. :)
17. Wearing a dupatta (scarf) whenever out in public.
18. Insane amounts of heat everyday. Why, darling, 105 is the new 85.
19. Color. Everywhere. :)
20. Functioning on Indian time. I may never be on time again for anything... ever ;).
21. Being able to eat like a king for $3-$4.
22. KULFI.
23. Not being able to read most signs.

My Most Recent "The World is Small" Moment

This was a pretty big "The World is a Small Place" moment for me....

Several years ago, I was in the Florida Keys with my family, and at the resort where we stay, they always have an interesting assortment of books that have been read, left, and reread by countless people on holiday and what-not.

Anyways, when I was about 14 or 15, I read Bloodlines by Sidney Sheldon, and it was probably the smuttiest book I had ever read at that point, and it may still be the smuttiest book I have ever read. Don't get me wrong--it was scandalous, yes, but it was a good read, and I could have done far worse in terms of sheer scandalousness.

But I digress.

So I read this book and later lent it to a friend, and I haven't seen it in person or anywhere in years.

Years.

Well, I was in a coffee shop near my new home (that's another story for another blog) the other day, and I SAW IT ON THEIR BOOKSHELF.

I SAW MY BOOK THAT I HAVE ALWAYS REMEMBERED AND HAVE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE IN YEARS IN A RANDOM COFFEE SHOP IN THE MIDDLE OF LUCKNOW, INDIA.

And while I know that it would be virtually impossible for it to be the exact copy I read, it certainly looked identical to the one I read-- well worn, same edition, etc.

The world is a very small place, my friends.

Kal

The phrase "kal milengue" is used for "See you tomorrow" in Urdu.

Interestingly, "kal" is both the word for yesterday and tomorrow.

And when yesterday and tomorrow are the same, then today is the only thing that matters.

(I am such a cheeseball. Apologies.)