First of all, many apologies for having written so little recently. Since my return from Nainital and my move across Lucknow in mid-July, I've just been... a little mentally/emotionally/spiritually exhausted. I don't mean to sound melodramatic or anything of the sort, but I feel like I've had a little bit less stamina the past few weeks and have been a little more likely to be less proactive about my time here.
India is a really tough place to be a foreigner. Unlike other countries in the world, such as those in Europe, Canada, and the US, where the population contains a wide variety of people and where visitors and tourists can blend in, India is not one of those places for Westerners. I've come to the realization that no matter how long I spend in this country--be it 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, 2 decades--on some level, I will still be "just visiting." Around the middle of July, I really began to feel like a local--I knew where things were, how basic day-to-day practices worked, etc., but despite my feelings of accumulated cultural knowledge, I am still just a tourist.
So that's been frustrating, and in addition to all the things that are not-so-great about India, such as the public urination, prominence of trash, extreme heat, and endless stream of noise, the combination has made me less inclined to write about my experiences here.
But the last few weeks have been really good. I have become really close to some of the others on the program, I've learned so much Urdu and Indian culture, and I've enjoyed becoming more acquainted with the city and Uttar Pradesh. I will be returning with some pretty great stories... like cops overtaking our train cabin, like my getting lost in Varanasi and following a dead body back to my hotel near the Burning Ghat, etc.
There are some GOOD stories. ;)
There are also a lot of things circulating in my head... lots of ideas. I'm thinking that I'll be back to India for a longer period of time (2 months minimum) sometime within the next 3 years. There's not a great way to describe it, but India has become a really integral piece of my life, and the more I learn about India, and now having learned some of the language, there's an ever-increasing investment on my part in India. And the more I see of India, the more I want to see. This trip I focused more on North India and the province of Uttar Pradesh (i.e. Delhi, Lucknow, Agra/Fatehpur Sikri, Varanasi/Benares), but my list of places I'd like to visit has grown to include Darjeeling, Bihar province, Rajasthan province, Rishkesh (spelling?), and Auroville, among other places. While I've been feeling perhaps a little disenchanted as of late because my departure is so imminent (FOUR FULL DAYS LEFT IN INDIA), that does not mean in any way that I'm not still in some sort of relationship with this place.
It's very complicated....
(I wrote an article on my experience in India for an alumni newspaper, and I'll make it its own unique post.)
So, I guess I'm just sort of rambling right now....
Anyways, many apologies for being such an unfaithful blogger. I hope to begin to make up for this in the next few days....
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