Reflections

It's really starting to hit me: It's Tuesday night--almost Wednesday, eegads!--and Thursday morning, I will be headed to the Lucknow airport. I have just ONE full day left out of my ten week summer.

So...how does that feel...?
It's complicated.

On the one hand, I feel like I could have done more with this time--like volunteering with an NGO, for example, as that's the biggest thing that didn't come to fruition, albeit primarily because I felt that my Hindi/Urdu skills were too limited (I had troubles communicating with several of the NGO's I called--and by several, I mean all) and because India and its 120F heat zapped my energy. Still, that's one thing that I wish I'd really gone after in a way that I didn't.
However, when I came to India, my priorities were pursuit of knowledge and clarification, and I feel so much more at peace in these two realms. I have learned so much--so much Urdu, so much about India, so much about people, and so much about myself. My Urdu is basic intermediate, but I came here knowing absolutely nothing, so basic intermediate is a grand leap. About India...I can't begin to describe the things I feel I've learned.... It's way too broad to begin to explain.... Chatting and hanging out with my classmates has been one of my favorite things about this experience as the people I've met have been so overwhelmingly fascinating. They've been a huge encouragement and inspiration in terms of helping me discover what sort of person I want to be, what sort of people I want to spend time with, and what sort of person I eventually want to end up with. They've been so wonderful and I can't believe in just 48 hours we'll be boarding a flight back to America, a flight after which we'll proceed to pick our lives back up where we left them. It's mind-boggling to share a summer with such generally incredible people and to then have to split ways and resume everything else. I've lived in this imaginary place for ten weeks...and reality's catching up with me, but I digress. Finally, about myself, I feel like I'm only partially the person I thought I was. The best example I can think of is that I've always considered myself to be VERY "Type A." Well, there are many situations in which I am so "go with the flow" and passive that it blows my mind. India has handed me extreme heat, pests and vermin, illness, cold bucket showers, Indian toilets, etc., and my response to so much of it has been, "Well, whatever. Here we go." And that's not what I would have anticipated.

Along with this knowledge, there has also been a fair amount of clarification. On some level, I know that India will be a big part of my life for years to come. And while I want to write more about that here, I feel like that's something that I really want to others about first.... I'll keep you posted, though. Moral of the story, though, is that:

• I think I'll be back to India within the next two years for a period of at least 10 weeks;
• My grad school plans have changed;
• I have Fulbright proposals churning in my mind; and
• I think that within the next ten years, I'll be spending 2-3 years (easily) in India.

I have India on my mind and burrowing in me, as odd as that sounds. I can't imagine not returning here sometime sooner rather than later. India's more than a passion for me: It's really becoming more of a lifestyle choice.

That may not make much sense to anyone else, but if it doesn't, call me and let's have coffee. There's a lot on my mind, and there are some big--BIG!!--things that I'm sorting through as I pray about and wrestle with where the next few years will take me. I'm feeling so liberated in ways that I haven't felt liberated in a long time, and I'm seeing my life moving in really cool directions, and it's just incredible, absolutely incredible.

Again, if this rambling tangent is confusing, call me and let's have ourselves a chat over coffee. I'm really excited about where this story is moving....

Things I've Become Acclimated to....

A short list of things I have become almost completely used to....

1. Power outages at very inopportune times.
2. Flies hovering around my favorite eating establishments, eating establishments that typically lack four walls anyways.
3. Diarrhea.
4. Stares of all kinds from the local Lucknovites--haunting stares, friendly stares, sexual stares, awkward stares, etc.
   
5. The toilet not being able to flush several consecutive times.
6. Bucket showers.
7. Cold bucket showers.
8. Cycle rickshaws.
9. Going about my day and speaking Hindi/Urdu to make things happen.
10. Going about my day and having no one understand my English.
11. Feeling isolated from the Western world.
12. Noise. Constant noise, usually from the street.
13. Always having bug bites of some sort on me somewhere.
14. Beggars. And that one really bothers me--that I've become almost callous to it, but it happens.
15. Vegetarian Indian food.
16. Chai. :)
17. Wearing a dupatta (scarf) whenever out in public.
18. Insane amounts of heat everyday. Why, darling, 105 is the new 85.
19. Color. Everywhere. :)
20. Functioning on Indian time. I may never be on time again for anything... ever ;).
21. Being able to eat like a king for $3-$4.
22. KULFI.
23. Not being able to read most signs.

My Most Recent "The World is Small" Moment

This was a pretty big "The World is a Small Place" moment for me....

Several years ago, I was in the Florida Keys with my family, and at the resort where we stay, they always have an interesting assortment of books that have been read, left, and reread by countless people on holiday and what-not.

Anyways, when I was about 14 or 15, I read Bloodlines by Sidney Sheldon, and it was probably the smuttiest book I had ever read at that point, and it may still be the smuttiest book I have ever read. Don't get me wrong--it was scandalous, yes, but it was a good read, and I could have done far worse in terms of sheer scandalousness.

But I digress.

So I read this book and later lent it to a friend, and I haven't seen it in person or anywhere in years.

Years.

Well, I was in a coffee shop near my new home (that's another story for another blog) the other day, and I SAW IT ON THEIR BOOKSHELF.

I SAW MY BOOK THAT I HAVE ALWAYS REMEMBERED AND HAVE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE IN YEARS IN A RANDOM COFFEE SHOP IN THE MIDDLE OF LUCKNOW, INDIA.

And while I know that it would be virtually impossible for it to be the exact copy I read, it certainly looked identical to the one I read-- well worn, same edition, etc.

The world is a very small place, my friends.