How We Do

Let's talk logistics.

India is a really interesting place to live, and I think we have some really interesting solutions to logistical issues and how we do things, even the most mundane chore.

MEALS.

Our hostess Renee is currently in New York for her son's wedding (although some of her other family members are here), and since she's gone, we don't have access to her cook. So how are the fabulous people of the commune surviving? Tiffins. The tiffin service in India is widely used. A tiffin is a set of small stainless steel containers complete with a hot meal. Everyday we call our tiffin service provider, and for a small cost that Renee is supposedly taking care of, we have a hot Indian meal (daal, roti, rice, and a veggie) delivered hot in the evening at the time of our request. In the morning, we leave the tiffins outside for collection, and the process repeats itself. Millions of Indians use tiffins everyday as a means of getting a hot lunch or dinner delivered home or to their place of work.

I myself have been avoiding the tiffins because I'm not particularly fond of daal or roti. I am basically subsisting on muesli and mangoes. Not true. I've actually fallen madly in love with chicken sandwiches from the likes of KFC and McDonalds. I would never "crave" fastfood in the United States, but I can't tell you how good American fastfood tastes in India. Words cannot describe it....

LAUNDRY.

Laundry is done by our dolbiwallah (probably misspelled that) who charges 5 rupees per piece of clothing. For 5 rupees, your shalwaar (or whatever) gets washed, dried, and pressed. Not a bad deal when an American dollar is the equivalent of about 47-50 rupees.... It's cheaper and better quality than my options at an American dorm.

TRANSPORTATION.

Cycle rickshaws have become a staple of my existance in India. It's super cheap transporation, and it's generally pretty reliable. For about 10-20 rupees, a friend (or two) and I can get where we need to go. The ride is thrilling, fun, and sometimes a wee bit dangerous, but motorists and motorcyclists are generally cautious about the slow-moving rickshaws. The cyclist rickshaw drivers themselves are often sad sights--the one Aqilah and I used this morning to get to school was probably just 12 years old. Most are skin and bone with teeth stained by the remnants of cheap legal narcotics. If you're out and about early in the morning and late at night and traversing the city, it's not uncommon to see a dozen or so rickshaw drivers sleeping on their rickshaws throughout the city.

COMMUNICATION.

I have an Indian cell phone. I paid $20 for it, and it's just a basic cell phone--doesn't do anything cool whatsoever, and then I load money on to it. It's about 9 rupees a minute for an international call, 1 rupee a minute or so for a local call, and 1 rupee per text message.

Getting the phone, however, was the biggest hassle. A phonewallah came to the Institute to distribute phones and what-not, as this was supposed to be the quickest way to get everyone a mobile.

Not true.

The phonewallah was like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. I was at the Institute, along with other students, every afternoon for THREE DAYS. On the first afternoon, I was able to start my paperwork, as they want photocopies of your passport, passport photos, proof of residency, etc. as part of your phone application. On the second afternoon, the same wallah came back to continue the phone process, and he wouldn't even let me get my hands on the paperwork to finish the process. On the third afternoon, I finally was able to complete the process. It was ridiculous.

PESTS.

My tolerance for rodents and insects right now is ridiculously high.
What have I seen running around our apartment, you ask?
Spiders, ants, mosquitos, and other insects? Check.
Cockroaches? Check.
Lizards? Check.
Rat? Check.
For the bugs and cockroaches, we've been using pesticides and what-not designed to keep them away. I found some pretty lethal cockroach/mosquito repellant at Big Bazaar (BTW: I HATE Big Bazaar) that has a list of side effects from inhalation listed on the side of the can.
As for the lizards, we let them be. They come. They go. But how do you kill a lizard? No idea. And they eat the bugs, which we certainly like, but they are apparently poisonous. Someone told me a story when I first arrived about a couple in India that had one of these lizards fall into their soup while it was cooking. Unaware of the mystery ingredient, they ate the soup and died of poisoning. So, we're mindful and careful about that, but you know, it's India.
As for the mouse, that attack is on our to do list. We just found the bugger the night before last, and we think he's hanging out in the kitchen....

CLEANING.

The home we live in has a house boy, who I estimate to be about 18-20 or so, who assists with the daily maintenance of the property. For us, this means that he does the cleaning. He periodically comes and washes the floors and otherwise tidies up the apartment. He also disposes of our trash if we place it outside. As the house boy, he lives in an apartment above us that I imagine to be of significantly lesser quality than ours.


If I think of other things that I find to work differently on a day-to-day basis than in the United States, I'll be sure to post them as well.

Guess what?

I got my nose pierced Saturday.

And I LOVE it. :)

(Cheers to reckless life decisions!)

(But it was sanitary, I swear.)

Cultural Faux Pas Moves by Moi

So, in the first--and maybe not even the first--of many cultural faux pas moves by moi, here we go:

I (unknowingly) wore an Indian nightdress to the Institute.

It was the afternoon after I'd been home sick sleeping one morning, and I found a cotton dress in one of the dressers in our apartment and wore it because I had nothing else to wear. Turns out I was wearing Indian women's pajamas.

Moves like that = Story of my life.

Homesick?

So, I'm maybe a wee bit homesick.

A week of illness, heat, perspiration, and Indian food will do that to you.

Sexual Suppression in India

The title of this particular post may seem a little...off, but this is something I really would like to talk about and focus on for at least one entry on this blog.

India is an extremely socially conservative nation: This cannot be emphasized enough. Men and women are taught from childhood (probably birth) to stay clear of the opposite sex. People don't "date" as most marriages are arranged, although the definition of "arranged" varies widely. Still, the opposite genders are really not supposed to interact, for example:

• PDA is almost unheard of;
• A man and a woman (especially if they are unmarried) will not spend time alone together publicly or privately;
• It's very common to see straight women AND men holding hands with someone of the same gender in public, whereas it's almost uncommon to see a man and a woman holding hands in public;
• A woman's reputation rests almost primarily on her modesty with the opposite sex;
• Women dress very conservatively, i.e. especially in terms of covering one's legs and chest; and
• Because teenagers can't spend time together alone, such as on a date, you can frequently find very secretive-looking duo's at large gathering places, such as the gardens, discretely chatting and getting to know each other.

In light of this, I had a very interesting experience on Sunday.

First of all, let me begin this by noting that as a white female, everyone looks at me. Everyone. All the time. I can be wearing traditional Indian clothing and dressing modestly (salwaar, korta, and dupatta), and I still get stares. As one peer put it: "It feels like we're...royalty." People stare that much and that often. You don't go anywhere without having several sets of eyes following you at all times. You feel like you're on parade as a representative of the Western world, and there are a lot of pressures and stresses that come with that.

But I digress.

On Saturday, a female student who I spent time with wore a calf-length skirt, nice t-shirt, and dupatta (scarf) when we were out-and-about. She seemed to received normally, or as normally as we expect to be received, and so on Sunday I decided to wear a skirt in Lucknow for the first time. It was a skirt that hits below my kneecap, and I wore a nice t-shirt and a dupatta with it, and I went to the mall in this outfit, an outfit that's not scandalous or outrageous in any sense of the word. (Remember: The United Colors of Benetton in the mall is selling miniskirts and shorts.)

I haven't received that much attention is such a long time. I sat in Barista at Sahara Ganj with two classmates who were dressed in Indian apparel (more gals came later), and there would be men who would literally stand outside the coffeeshop's glass windows and stare. Others would make slow down their walking significantly. One set of younger guys was talking to me THROUGH THE WINDOW, and I sat in the coffeeshop shaking my head trying to ignore them.

I was in a fishbowl.

I didn't take it too personally--as I am neither a stud nor a prostitute--but it's an interesting situation that the American woman finds herself in when she steps foot into India. The media portrays a very flirty, loose version of the American female to the world, and when the American woman finds herself in a very socially conservative place, the onlooker automatically assumes that she is (I.) a slut, (II.) easy, and (III.) open to sexual experimentation. These are verdicts that I myself have not necessarily had the experience to justify, but they are verdicts that harmoniously emerge from the monologues American women tell of their time in this country.

It's an interesting predicament the Western woman finds herself in in India when she is more liberal than the average woman in terms of her relationships with other men but not in any way an sexually promiscuous woman.

There is no middle ground here for the Western woman: You are or you aren't, and it's already been decided for you by the media and the cultural powers that be that you ARE.

The Weekend in Review

The last time I posted was Thursday, so I'll start with a quick overview of the weekend.

• Friday night was pretty chill. I ran some errands in the afternoon, if memory serves me right, and kept things low key after class. One of my roommates, the lovely Behnaz, bought a hookah, and so there was the inaugural usage of the new blue hookah on a nice-sized balcony that jets off the room she shares with Aqilah. So several of us--i.e. Beenish, Elizabeth, Behnaz, Cayley, Charlotte, and myself--were sitting on the balcony--early evening sun's rays keeping us warm as the sun slowly melted into the West, dance music piping out from someone's portable iPod speakers, hookah fully functional, and girl chatter abundantly flowing. Later, Behnaz, Charlotte, and I went to Mint, a semi-trendy lounge sort of place down the street from where we live, to relax in the air conditioning while enjoying cold beverages. Again, it was super low-key, but it was a pretty good Friday all in all. The funny thing is that because so many people have curfews and because of Indian society's conservatism (especially with regard to women), nights wind down around 10pm, so we end nights early and sleep plenty.
• Saturday was a bit more interesting. Cayley, one of my five roommates, woke up feeling ill, and was taken to the hospital Saturday morning--turns out she has a parasite. Such are the elemental hazards of Lucknow. :) After having not eaten much all week--basically since I got here--I went to KFC (heck yes) for lunch with Azim, Aaron, Megan, Kristen, and Aqilah. It was a bit greasy--of course--but it was good to eat something and actually feel full. That really hasn't happened since I got here. Anyways, after lunch, we went to a new Hindi film called "Paying Guests"--basically ridiculousness, although it was a good use of a few hours and a cultural :) experience at the very least. Following the film, we wandered around the mall that the threatre and the KFC are in (Sahara Ganj is the name of the mall) before going over to Ahdminebad (spelling?), which is more of what you would consider to be a traditional Indian shopping and eating district. We spent a lot of time at a bookstore there and wandering around. I tried coconut water :), which is when they slice open a coconut and hand you a straw. Around 8pm, Aqilah and I left what remained of our group and spent most of the rest of the night chatting. It was a really solid day, though, and I felt like I was able to get to learn more about the people I spent the day with.
• Sunday was more boring. I spent most of Sunday at Sahara Ganj (literally 11am-5pm) studying in a Barista coffeeshop there, although we did look around the mall and have lunch during that time as well. In the evening, a few of us--Francesca, Behnaz, Beenish, Sareesh, myself, and another gal or two--went to the Imambaraugh near our house. (Pictures to be posted shortly on Facebook.)
• And today we were back in class. We started connecting letters today in my Urdu classes--WICKED EXCITING STUFF. The Urdu alphabet has four forms--initial, medial, final, and independent, depending on where a letter falls in a word or if it starts on its own--and the alphabet is supposedly rather close to Arabic, so basically, learning how to actually formulate words in Urdu script is REALLY BIG because we've just been studying the alphabet and common phrases the past few days. MORAL OF THE STORY: I am learning SO MUCH but I have so much more to learn. It's extremely gratifying, however, to be able to tangibly place a measure on how much I've learned. I started at nothing, and now I know the alphabet, how to formulate words, and basic phrases. I've had class for less than four days.

On the Mend!

I am feeling several times better than I was this morning. I ended up decided to miss my classes today in order to make up for the sleep I didn't get yesterday and to just let my body catch up with everything that's been going on. We just got to Lucknow a few days ago, and prior to that, I was on a plane every other day crossing time zones for about a week--not that I'm complaining, but it does strange, strange things to your health.

But I'm on the mend and doing better, and Cayley's almost fully recovered, and now it's just poor Elizabeth who is not feeling well.

Hopefully, this sort of illness isn't par for the course. :)

Today, basically the only thing I got done was filling out a form to go to the police about my presence in Lucknow. Good job done--just not super thrilling.

One thing I did want to talk about, however, is just how refreshing this whole experience has been in terms of seeing "The Big Picture." I think I've been feeling like I absolutely-must-have-to get a full-time job as soon as I get out of college, and after talking to the other students here, I feel a lot more opened to getting sidetracked. Now, don't get me wrong--the 9-5 job will be coming my way quickly, but there are things like the Fulbright, PeaceCorps, Teach for America, and other opportunities--things that you really can only do when you're young. I guess I'm more open now to getting carried away--life's an adventure, not a race to a desk, and I feel more at peace knowing that it's okay to get a little sidetracked--that I can still end up on the "right" track even if I go a different route than most. My story can be my story, and the ending can be the same no matter which way I went about getting there. And it's a really liberating notion that there are several ways to arrive at the same destination.

Hope that makes sense to somebody else. :)

PS Last night when I was trying to fall asleep around 9pm, a wedding band started up on the street--a really, loud obnoxious Indian wedding band. It was really awful wedding music, and it was literally right in front of the house. There are literally moments almost every day when you just have to laugh at irony and its timing.